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Issue 4     September 19, 1998

Ever get the feeling that a piano is about to land on your head? Probably just nerves. This issue, we have a poet I'd never heard of before, but when it was sent to me I had to put it in. Margaret Rigsby is the name. Of course, Dolomite is back and doing whatever it is that he does, and, though i still have trouble believing this, we got TWO LETTERS! This is Vocab Boy, and remember, the zine is free, the ads are free, and the speech is free.

Copyright 1998 by Shadow Wall Press. All Rights Reserved.
Published Wheneverwefeelikeit by Shadow Wall Press

Contributors:
Margaret Rigsby
Dolomite
EDITOR: Vocab Boy




THE FORUM
Here's where the stuff you send me gets its due.

Subsist

Come out into the light,
my aberrant spirit
dwelling deep within this twisted
pitiable mind.
Push the fragile one
somewhere deep
into the catacombs of this brain,
bind her there.
Destroy her and live,
let her exist,
we all die.
There is not room in this body,
in this world,
for the odious and grotesque.
Destroy her and live.

Copyright 1998 by Margaret Rigsby,


FROM DAVE, WITH LOVE

By now, most of you know the truth of my identity. You realize that I and VocabBoy are one and the same. Now, before I'm shipped to the cracker factory, allow me to explain.
I first took the name VocabBoy on a lark. I scored pretty well (750) on the verbal section of the SAT's, and something inside told me I needed a pen name. As I pondered this, the prospect of a split persona became quickly very appealing. After all, how could I justify putting myown work in my magazine without looking like a weiner? So, VocabBoy was born.
At this point, though, I feel it is time to have a contract putout on the Boy Vocab. He's served his purpose, and outlived it. So, to all ye who lack direction, I issue this challenge. End VocabBoy.
Be careful, he's wily. And send your account of his demise to VocabBoy, with something to the effect of "he's dead" in the subject line. The one most satisfying to me will appear in this zine, and all others will be featured in "The Hold, Quarterly", a paper zine that will be going out sometime in October. If you want to receive that, let me know.


THE PADDED ROOM
!!!Warning: The writers of these columns have severe emotional difficulties. I can't control what they write. If I were to reprimand them, the consequences could include verbal abuse, exposing themselves for no apparent reason, and the sadistic mutilation of any small animals present. I know this from harsh experience. Poor Scruffy...

----------------------------------------------------------

RANTING

     Well sports fans, it's that time again. In fact, it has been that time for a while now. In case you are one of the lucky few, you know what I mean. It's time for school. That's right. Hell has opened its gates upon the sleepy town of Erie and unleashed the Antichrist to sit on the throne of principal at Strong Vincent High School. As soon as I learned of this ploy of Satan, I ran to the nearest open field, slaughtered a goat, and screamed, "Why God? Why must we be punished so!" The reply came in a voice as tremendous as thunder. "Don't look at me." That's when I realized that the end was near. I only hoped to graduate before Dr. Dixon leads forth the armies of Hell to conquer and enslave us puny humans.

     For those of you saying, "Oh Dolomite, it is not that bad" "She really is not that bad of a person", I have this reply to your drug induced nonsense: Shut up and fuck off! First Amendment baby! That's what all of my articles are fueled upon. If not for that great right, you bunch of tree-hugging, gay appraising, equal rights whining, abortion bashers would be at the head of the table of leadership. If that were so, I would still tell you to remove that ten foot pole out of your ass, strap a frayed electrical cord around your neck, plug that baby in, and jump into the bath tub. Of course, most of you are too idiotic to even attempt to remember those simple steps, so here are some that are even easier: Find the nearest gun, load it completely, kill every one of your Nazi-loving, Jew bashing, flag burning, skinheaded, asshole friends around you, and get ready to meet Bubba cause you're not getting the chair. Your Spice Girl loving (and we are talking about their music, not bodies), punk hating, V-chip supported, "masturbation is taboo" thinking, vegan neighbors already made sure that no one dies for any reason. I'll say what I want, when I want, how I want, and why I want.

     For those of you agreeing to all/any of what has been presented in this bizarre collection of grammar errors, then congrats. Dave has requested that I mention the possibility of an assassin for Vocab Boy. If anyone knows someone cheap, inexpensive, or cheap, then send a reply to the Hold. And remember: don't eat any vegetable that is not green. That's how the government gets you to vote for Mickey Mouse come Election Day. He's not running for office, people! He's to busy fucking Minnie at Epcot!

Dolomite


GRAFFITI
I'd love it if some of you dear readers would comment on this zine. And, if you did, I'd put your letters right here, for all to read. Just send it to The Hold and put "letter" in the subject line.

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it's the last sunday morning of the summer, and i just finished reading the new issue of this fine e-zine .i admit that there may be some bias on my part, especially in the case of two of your contributors, but i enjoyed ALL of it. i hope there will be more writing from hilary in subsequent issues. keep it up!!
ann

In regard to "Fuck You" by Hilary Kerner,
Gee, I want to say that all the time! To many. Bravo!
Kat


THE TOWN SCREAMER
Something you want to tell the world? Buy a half hour on ABC. If there's anything that pertains to the writing community, though, this would be an appropriate place to put it.

------------------------------

From: Mike Hemmingson
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS:

THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF SHORT EROTIC NOVELS

I will be co-editing, with Maxim Jakubowski in England, a 200,000 word anthology, The Mammoth Book of Short Erotic Novels, to be published in the Fall of 2000 by Robinson Publishing in the UK, and Carroll & Graf here in the States, trade paperback.
This book will be 30% reprint material (e.g., Spanking the Maid by Robert Coover, De Sade's Last Stand by William T. Vollmann) and 70% original.I'm looking for erotic fiction in the 15,000-35,000 word range, that gray area where novella meets the short novel.
I'd prefer contemporary settings, but I'm not adverse to historical, SF, mystery, horror, or any other genre with an erotic element. All sexual persuasions are welcome.
By erotic, I mean explicit sexual encounters and themes, but for various legal reasons (and queasy booksellers and distributors),topics such as sex with minors, animals, or family members are taboo. Not that I have anything against such subjects personally, but this *is* mass commercial publishing... Deadline is July, 1999. The book may close sooner, given the fact that I'll only be able to include 10-15 short novels, and the book is already 1/3 full. Payment is 20 pounds per thousand words (given the fluctuating exchange rate from pound to dollar, it comes out to be around three cents a word), payment on publication.
Submissions can either me emailed or snail-mailed. Email: AvantPop@aol.comin an attached file for Microsft Word or an RTF file. Snail mail: Michael Hemmingson, 722 Broadway Suite 3, San Diego, CA 92101 USA. Reporting time: 1 week to three months.

ALSO: I'm co-editing, with Larry McCaffrey, an anthology called AVANT-PORN, mostly likely for Masquerade Books. This will not be the same "avant-porn" book McCaffrey has been working on, if you know him, but something very different. I have not signed anything in stone yet with Masquerade, although they are hot on the idea, and they want to market the book as a reference to "new, innovative erotica for the 21st century" as well as target the academic market; and have the book used in university classes. It may be a bigger book than I originally approached them with. I'm looking at short fiction up to 7,000 words, with an emphasis on innovation ....something different than your usual erotic narrative. What that may be, I really can't say. Same submissions procedures above apply. You can either send to me now, or check with me at the end of September, when all negotiations with Masquerade should come to something solid. Submissions should be sent to me rather than McCaffrey, as Mac will be in Japan.

ALSO: I'm looking for material, fiction and journalism, for a project calledThe Mammoth Book of Sex, Drugs, & Rock'n'Roll. Robinson Publishing wants to do this book, but wants to see sample materials (I need a totalof30K words) first. If you have anything, or can point me in the right direction..... Other Mammoth Books in the zygote stages:

The Mammoth Book of Fetishes
The Mammoth Book of Spirituality

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From: Fiona Giles 5 Lee st. Randwick, NSW, 2031, Australia
Jane For A Day

I am now inviting a # of male artists and writers to contribute work which addresses what you or your fictional character would do it you awoke to find yourself miraculously endowed with a vagina for a single day.
Fiction, poetry, essay, illustration, etc...
For this project, please keep in mind that your character has only one day in which to explore the life of a female. i am also giving preference to previously unpublished material. I will pay a single fee on publication of $500 for stories and essays (word limit of 3000). Apro-rata royalty will be paid on any reprints, plus 90% of any author serial rights.
Short, one-sentence or single paragraph answers are also welcome, although no fee will be paid for these.
Accompany submissions with a brief bio.
contact David Rosenthal at Simon and Schuster in New York with questions
Deadline October 31, 98


FIVE AND DIME
Anything you want to get rid of can be advertised here, free of charge.

1.Small Press
Songs Are Dreams
14 Works of wordjazz

------------------------------

"geriatrica smothering storm clouds storm crows singing eastern wind of hills and dales and swinging blue killer whales. Mucilage brown cementing the town and pent up anxiety bringing me down to the depths of hierarchy patriarchy monarchy whilst others fly to fight for democracy. the republic is dead, long live the czar, long live the premier, long live Shankar." -page 6
Contact me at ShadowWall@juno.com It's free.


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